The joy of giving

Blessed be the pot that has more use to it than a book that's never going to be read.

I LOVE receiving presents. I also love giving them. Unfortunately, I'm usually terrible at choosing presents for others, unless they come up to me before the big day and say something like, "How about getting me a handbag with a matching Chihuahua à la Paris Hilton?"

At which point, I might say, "Ooh, that's going to be tough. How about a Chihuahua with a matching handbag?"

In the run-up to last Christmas, my gift-choosing skills were, as usual, tested when it came to assessing what my loved ones might "need". Of course, I had my wires crossed from the outset, because most people don't care about what they need, they are more enamoured with what they want.

For example, take my partner, a man who has everything. Well, just about everything. I wasn't sure what he wanted for Christmas but I certainly knew what he needed: a large non-stick pot.

You see, the last time I cooked at his apartment, towards the end of last year, the meatballs I'd spent hours making stuck to the bottom of his ancient stewing pot and turned a glorious shade of black, further reinforcing my reputation as a kitchen klutz.

Right about now, you're probably thinking, "Who would give someone a pot for Christmas?" But this is no ordinary pot. It's made from vacuum-pressure cast aluminium with a special finish, so that nothing, and I mean nothing, will stick to it. It has superb heat retention and distribution properties, and is easy to clean. Oh yes, and it's so good-looking that you can put it on the table and serve the food right out of it.

I so wanted that pot for myself that I parted with it somewhat reluctantly on Christmas day.

When my partner unwrapped his present, he studied the box containing the pot and said, in a rather unenthusiastic voice, "Ooh, it's a pot. Just what I've always wanted."

"Oh, but this no ordinary pot," I announced, getting really excited.

When he removed the pot from the box, I could tell he was feigning interest by the way he turned it this way and that and held it up to the light.

Like, who the heck holds a pot up to the light? It's not as if it's made from crystal.

Later that day, as we were digesting our Christmas lunch, he called his brother to wish him a Merry Christmas.

"You can tell how long you've been in a relationship by the gifts you receive," I heard him say. "Last year, I got a digital photo frame, and this year I got a pot." Then he laughed loudly.

I laughed too, but I didn't feel one little twinge of regret. I know a pot isn't a romantic gift, but it sure beats buying, say, a selection of books that would never be read, or a shirt that would never be worn, or a bottle of wine that would never be uncorked.

The following week, my partner called me to say that he had used his pot for the first time. He raved about its heat retaining properties and the wonderful non-stick coating (guaranteed to last a lifetime), as if it were the best present he'd ever received. Since then, he's used it a number of times, and he is still raving about it.

I guess I got lucky.

Presents can be a bit hit and miss at the best of times, so instead of guessing what a person might want (a black silk negligee with pink bows, or a first edition novel by an obscure author, or a side table made from a stuffed elephant's foot), my life would be a whole lot easier if it were socially acceptable for me to adopt the practical Chinese custom of giving everyone an ang pao (red packet containing money) instead. That way, the recipient could use the money to buy something they want, and the giver would save the time and energy that is usually spent thinking about suitable gifts, buying them and wrapping them creatively.

Of course, I would probably spend too much time worrying about the amount of money I should put in each ang pao. Get it correct and the recipient will be happy. But get it wrong and you might hear the whispers of "kiam siap" (stingy).

But then again, I would probably miss those rare occasions when I do get it right and the recipient's eyes light up when they unwrap their gift.

My partner has a birthday coming up in a couple of months, and I've no idea what to buy him.

Perhaps an apron to go with his pot.

Check out Mary on Facebook at facebook.com/mary.schneider.writer. Reader response can be directed to star2@thestar.com.my.

Read More @ Source

More » Bonology.com | Pakatan Rakyat (PR) | Sociopolitics Plus | 大马社会政治