Back to basics

Our intrepid 'tech-xplorer' finally realises when enough is enough.

SATURATION point has been breached! As far as technology is concerned, the only direction I must now travel is retrograde.

Critical mass was already building up a few months ago when, on impulse, I acquired a Blackberry Torch. My friends reacted in shock: "But aren't you an Apple man?" I can't imagine what gave them this impression, apart from the iPod and iTouch I have. Okay, and an iPad.

All these gadgets can keep me connected, 24/7, to various social networks. I find this extremely intrusive and annoying – after the first few days, I logged out of Facebook and Twitter, both on the Blackberry and iPad. Oh, and phone's batteries were being eaten for breakfast!

Once upon a good old time, you charged your mobile phone once or twice a working week. Today's multi-tasking devices demand charging every day. The first few days with the Blackberry, I'd start out on a full battery, but by early evening, the indicator would be worryingly low.

So I disconnected myself from all social media via the phone, and battery life improved. At least, it now lasts until I get to bed. Ironically, this also means using just a fraction of the phone's capabilities. What a waste!

I started wondering – could I find a phone to do just what it was originally meant to do, that is, make and receive calls and facilitate easy texting, with no fancy stuff? Plus, it had to be tough enough to survive the occasional drop. I took up the project in all earnestness.

Most mobile phones now adopt one of three design lines. There's the classic "candy-bar" look and then, there are the Blackberry and iPhone wannabes. They all tempt punters with a variety of capabilities, and many of the models look either fragile or oversized. They all also have silly, tiny keypads.

Then, in that gadget heaven called Low Yat Plaza in KL, I spotted an oddity, a throwback that clashed with all of today's sensibilities.

It was a candy-bar design with a small monochrome display (its slightly costlier sibling has a bigger display with some basic colours), ostensibly to make room for the gigantic keypad.

Despite the display's size, the onscreen numbers came out big! Also, you can activate a voice to say the number keyed into the phone! Thrills? Just FM radio!

When I asked about battery life, the sales guy told me: "It'll last days, maybe up to five."

As for durability, "so long as you don't drop it every day ...," I was reassured.

The whole concept was so retro-chic that I traded in the back-up phone I use for cheap international calls (via a prepaid card), and went home with a smile on my face.

My first call was to the missus, who was overseas at the time, and her voice came over as clear as crystal, unlike the muffled audio output of my previous "branded" phone.

As I write this, it's been four days, and I'm still waiting to see how long it will take for the battery to run down. If you want one, well, I'm not telling – go on your own treasure hunt!

Meanwhile, I'll need to explain this whole thing to the missus when she returns. Wish me luck!

> Someone once asked me how I wrote this stuff. To quote the great humorist P.G. Wodehouse: "I just sit at a typewriter (computer) and curse a bit."

When I started this fortnightly column, I thought it might be good for a couple of years. Well, it's been four years of cursing and the 100th piece was published a fortnight ago. Seems as good a time and reason as any to move on, so this is the final Not Today piece. Peace, love ... and don't miss the movie.

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