Being nice pays

Here's how to get your complaint attended to soonest possible.

SHORTLY after my Internet connection gave up on me the other day, I reluctantly telephoned my service provider, fully expecting a frustrating conversation. I wasn't disappointed.

After dealing with multiple recorded messages telling me about my options, I was finally put through to a human, a sullen woman who informed me that someone would come soon to check my telephone line.

"Soon?" I said, trying to keep the edge out of my voice. "How soon is soon?"

"I don't know," she said.

"Can you be a little more specific? Am I looking at one hour? One day? One week?"

"I don't know," she repeated.

Now, I know these people are trained not to be too specific, just in case subscribers become irritated when their complaints are not attended to immediately, so I tried a different tack.

"How long does it usually take to get a technician to respond to a report?"

"It depends on how busy we are."

"I need my Internet connection to carry out my work," I said, trying not to sound like a whining prima donna. "Is there any way I can get someone to come and check it today?"

"I can understand you are feeling pissed off," she said. "But someone will be there as soon as possible."

Pissed off? Since when did customer care representatives start using such language? And even if I were pissed off, which I wasn't until she brought it up, it wasn't her place to give me a free mood analysis.

After hanging up, I did wonder what such people say to their colleagues when talking about difficult customers.

First representative: "God, I just had a PD (prima donna) on the line. She was really PO (pissed off) and kept harping on about my definition of the word soon."

Second representative: "I just had a LM (loud mouth) who is threatening to CS (cancel services) if we don't attend to him immediately."

First representative: "I've flagged her report as NU (non-urgent). That'll teach her."

Second representative: "I'm so PO with this job."

First representative: "Don't be such a PD."

Two days later, no one had bothered to come to check my Internet connection. So I called my service provider again.

This time, I approached things differently. I was friendly and answered all her questions cheerfully. Heck, I even thanked her for putting me on hold for five minutes.

And you know what? It worked. The customer care representative appreciated my need for Internet and bumped me to the head of the queue. Or so she said.

It's the same thing when you go into a restaurant. If you want the best possible dining experience, it pays to be nice to the serving staff. My daughter, who is training to be a chef, has had her share of PDs making her life miserable during her stints at several upmarket restaurants in Kuala Lumpur. According to her, you can spot the quite fussy diners almost as soon as they've walked through the door. People who are probably perfectly charming when interacting with family, friends and colleagues can morph into disrespectful, demon diners at the mere drop of a napkin. And there's no end to the things they will complain about.

Their table isn't in the best possible position to showcase their Gucci handbag, the breadbasket is one minute late in coming, the music is too French (in a French restaurant), the waiter is slow, the water could be two degrees colder …

My daughter has nothing against people who have a bona fide complaint, but it's the way that some people complain that needs to be changed. For example, snapping your fingers to get attention and publicly berating the serving staff is not going to get your lamb shank on the table any faster.

If I go into a restaurant for the first time and the service is poor and the food not to my liking, I won't go back. If I go to a favourite restaurant and something is amiss, I'll speak quietly to my waiter/waitress about it. After all, these are the people who are partially responsible for the food that's going to be in your stomach soon. Be scared; be very scared.

I just got a short call from a technician from my Internet service provider.

"I'll be there soon," he said.

You've just got to laugh.

Check out Mary on Facebook at facebook.com/mary.schneider.writer. Reader response can be directed to star2@thestar.com.my.

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