Faeces ‘diplomacy’ needs to be flushed — Armando Siahaan

Having a movement has taken on a totally new meaning in this country thanks to some nincompoops who see the brown-coloured end product of the bodily function as a viable instrument for expressing patriotism.

I’m referring to the farcical incident last week where a group of demonstrators flung human faeces at the Malaysian Embassy in Jakarta.

The uproar was ignited by the recent detainment of three Indonesian maritime officials by Malaysian sea police after the Indonesians arrested seven Malaysian fishermen in disputed waters near Riau Islands.

Spearheaded by ultranationalist groups such as the People’s Democratic Defence (Bendera), these pugnacious protesters also stomped and burned the Malaysian flag and threatened to sweep up and kick out Malaysian citizens residing in this country.

Just to refresh our memory, Bendera is the group that said it would wage war on Malaysia back in 2009 for a number of causes, including the batik boxing match and the Ambalat border dispute.

The vigilantes boasted they had mobilized more than 1,000 fighters, and set October 8, 2009, as their D-Day. Of course, the threatened invasion proved to be all bluster.

Nevertheless, I’ve been wondering all this time what artillery they were planning to deploy. Well, the Malaysian Embassy ruckus revealed the group’s lethal weapon: A bazooka that launches human faeces.

Staging a demonstration isn’t exclusive to Indonesia, of course, but a faecal attack is unheard of. And how on earth does throwing faeces at an embassy symbolise patriotism?

Were they planning on emblazoning our national flag on their “ammo,” or writing “Ganyang Malaysia” (“Down With Malaysia”) on their poop?

Did they really think Indonesians from Sabang to Merauke would be proud of their actions?

Many Indonesians have said that Malaysians tend to belittle our country by stereotyping us as a lowly, uneducated mob.

Instead of correcting them, these hooligans committed an act that only reinforced the impression of us as uncivilised thugs.

Outrageous stories like this are the holy grail for the media. Do we really want the world to see us as a nation of people who consider faeces to be an instrument of expression?

The excrement-smearing campaign may have been aimed at denigrating Malaysia, but the only one sullied by this disgraceful act was Indonesia.

This doesn’t suggest that I am pro-Malaysia. I share the resentments many Indonesians feel toward our neighbour.

Border disputes, mistreatment of Indonesian migrant workers, an attitude of cultural superiority — these things do bother me.

But these problems should be settled through the proper channels because shenanigans like burning flags and flinging faeces will only fuel the fire that is causing tensions between the two countries to boil over.

The Malaysian government has reportedly warned our government to crack down on the demonstrations, and has considered issuing a travel advisory against Indonesia, which, of course, is drawing further fire from the anti-Malaysia camp.

But why should we be angry about the threat of a travel advisory? A good government ensures the safety of its people at home and abroad, and with belligerent thugs running around throwing faeces at all things Malaysian, is a travel advisory really unexpected?

I’ve long disagreed with the idea of adopting a “harder” diplomatic stance, including suggestions to recall the Indonesian ambassador from Malaysia, cut economic and political ties and even go to war, all options that have been recommended by our lovely lawmakers.

In the case of the three Indonesian maritime officers who were detained, I think we are all in agreement on what we want from the Malaysian government: To admit its error and apologise.

But do you really think Malaysia will say sorry to us when they know Indonesians threw faeces at their embassy and incinerated their flag?

The faecal attack does nothing but constipate efforts by both countries to come to a peaceful solution. So how about we just flush this kind of stomach-churning behaviour down the toilet? — The Jakarta Globe

* Armando Siahaan is a reporter with the Jakarta Globe and writes a weekly column about current events.

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